


Blur

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Episode Related, Points of View, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-08
Updated: 2004-07-08
Packaged: 2018-12-26 17:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12063720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Description of episode 308- interior thoughts during all the Brian/Justin scenes with a bit of smut tacked onto the end. Much more enjoyable if you know 308 very very well. (and if you're at this site, you had better know it well...)





	Blur

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**Brian POV**

 

The introduction was a passing noise. A sound blur. A buzzing.

 

Brian heard his employee say the words, but he didn't remember them. 

 

"Brian, this is Justin Taylor, our new intern. Justin, this is Mr. Kinney, one of the partners in the agency."

 

Those blue eyes looking at him so intently from behind the fringe of shining blond hair.

 

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Kinney."

 

Justin's hand was extended towards him. And goddamnit, he was Brian fucking Kinney. He played it cool in every situation. He took Justin's hand.

 

Shook it. Tugged it. Squeezed the warm muscles and bones of an artist's worn hand in warning and desperation.

 

What. the fuck. was he doing here?

 

When those words came spilling out in the privacy of Brian's office, he was proud that his voice was that same strong tone tinged with annoyance and boredom as it always was. That his so expertly supressed emotions weren't surfacing in this moment of complete scatteredness. He only hoped that his eyes weren't screaming all his secrets to his young EX-whatever-the-fuck-he-used-to-be.

 

"I had no idea our former relationship was still a problem for you..." 

 

Damn his voice, his sly cockiness. Damn his smart-ass wit. Damn the complete and utter truth of that statment.

 

"Just don't expect any special treatment," Brian said with a slight raised eyebrow and his patented unforgiving gaze that made lesser men (and they were all lesser) squirm.

 

"I never have," Justin replied truthfully, his head tilting and eyes turning softer. A small smile.

 

Brian looked away, faking his disinterest so that Justin wouldn't notice how he lost his breath.

 

\--- --- ---  
 **Justin POV**  
\--- ---

 

Justin hunted him out. Scanned the crowd of muscled studs, tweaked-out queens, and slippery twinks jumping and twisting to the pulsating music for that trademark face. That face of god. 

 

He spotted it near the bar, approached with intent.

 

Brian was going to be his again. 

 

His heart hurt. Brian's beauty was painful. The perfect mussed way his hair fell, the noble line of his nose, his rosey lips. 

 

Justin's paint-stained fingers ached to comb through that hair, to brush his lips down that nose to kiss those lips. 

 

They greeted each other casually. Knowingly. 

 

Brian's expression looked bemused and annoyed at the same time. It made Justin feel like he was losing the battle, that Brian knew what was going on and would no fucking way give Justin what he wanted. 

 

With a toss of a head, causing his blond hair to fall away from his eyes he hinted about dancing. After all, the world always fell away when they danced. When Brian would pull their bodies impossibly close and they would breathe erotic trails over each other's face and neck. When their hands would slip under their clothing just to touch the hot, smooth skin underneath.

 

But Brian rejected the hint. Wit matching wit. 

 

Justin was shut down.

 

Oh well. He'd see him at work tomorrow.

 

Everywhere Brian goes, he'll be there.

 

\--- --- ---  
 **Brian POV**  
\--- ---

 

It was disconcerting to round the corner into the art work room of the agency, and see Justin casually tilted back on a stool with his feet propped up against the table. The perfectly comfortable way he was flipping through a magazine, biting on his lip thoughtfully.

 

Brian swept into the room in all his glory. Fuck feeling disconcerted. 

 

They maintained a business-oriented exchange, except for the brief moment when Brian hit Justin's feet off the table. 

 

But Justin kept turning pages and only glancing up occasionally, propped his knees against the edge instead, while Brian bitched about the staff and rattled off commands in his expertise.

 

A brief moment when silence reigned. Brian could have left the room. He should have. 

 

"So how's it going, Taylor?" He couldn't help it. He wanted to know.

 

"Good," he threw aside the magazine, "everyone's incredibly nice. And I've already learned more than I would in an entire semester of school."

 

"That's great," Brian injected just the right amount of sarcasm.

 

"Which," Justin continued, sitting up. Leaning forward. "says a lot about you, actually."

 

"About me?" Brian put more weight on his hands against the table, slacking his arms. Getting closer.

 

"Yeah. They say the tone of the workplace is established from the top. So its a great compliment to you that you have such a dedicated and hard-working staff."

 

Justin was wearing a baby blue collared shirt and baby blue sweater. 

 

It was a trivial thing, but for some reason it meant so much. The spun gold of the hair on his forehead was gentle, setting off the light blue brightness of his eyes.

 

He was drawing Brian in with those eyes.

 

And the little shit knew it.

 

They leaned closer. Both smiling slightly at the situation that they both sensed...couldn't avoid...wanted...

 

But with a slick assholic comment and a rough condescending pat on the shoulder, Brian effectively broke the moment. And got as far away from those eyes as he could.

 

\--- --- ---  
 **Justin POV**  
\--- ---

 

Fumbling with the boards during the meeting was just a clumsy mistake. Speaking up in his artistic knowledge during the meeting was a silly mistake.

 

Showing up Brian Kinney in front of a client was a downright fucking stupid error.

 

Now Brian angrily helped him clean up, tossing aside the boards and product with an expression of disgust. Justin flinched internally.

 

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," he said in a dry, but sincere voice.

 

"Damn right it won't. You're through."

 

Mr. Kinney was firing him. For screwing up. For those last words the client said to him, "You guys had better be careful...or this kid's gonna have your job."

 

Justin argued back, fighting against Brian, he wasn't going to let this opportunity slide away from him. 

 

The words were sharp, smart.

 

Then it turned into an argument about their relationship.

 

"What..and you're so smart? If you had any fucking brains at all you never would have let me leave!" Justin walked towards him, watched as Brian turned his body to face him, looking down at him with those cold hazel eyes. "You would have _told_ me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. That I would live to regret it. That what you gave me was worth a thousand... _a million times_ more than anything he had to offer," his voice turned serious and piercing, "You would have told me that you loved me. That you would go on loving me even after I was gone. But as usual, you never said it, so it's just as well I go."

 

He moved to his retreat. He wanted to get out of that room, and away from the body of that man who had stomped on his heart. Away from that expression of uncaring selfishness. 

 

Brian's arm reached out across his torso and pulled him back roughly. Made him stand in front of him again.

 

"That is so like you! You don't hear what you want, so you leave," Brian bit back, his features twisting as he mocked, "Try sticking up for yourself for a change? Have some balls."

 

Justin stared up at him.

 

Have some balls. Have some courage.

 

His gaze fell to Brian's lips.

 

And in one fast movement, he reached back and grabbed Brian's head, forcing it to his own.

 

Kissed those lips with all the heartbreak and hurt and desire that he'd been feeling everytime he saw him from the moment they broke up, until now. All those times he asked people to not talk about Brian because he was with Ethan. All those nights he'd wake up and stare out in the darkness, wondering about the man who had taught him everything. 

 

Brian kissed back. Leaned into it. Opened his mouth. 

 

Justin bit at his lips before pulling abruptly away and sweeping out the door.

 

His whole body hurt from the argument, but a little part of his heart was shining with pride at that final expression on Brian's face when he ended the kiss.

 

Brian had been just as lost as he was.

 

\--- --- ---  
 **Brian POV**  
\--- ---

 

It was as if his thoughts summoned the subject of them. 

 

The knock shook him out of his trance and he looked up in the doorway to see Justin standing in its frame.

 

"Mr. Kinney?"

 

"Taylor. Come in. Sit down," he said in a low, tired voice. Justin slowly sat down on the chair across from his desk. Brian leaned forward and arched a brow at him questioningly, "You wanted to see me?"

 

Justin nodded and took a deep breath. Calm, collected, and prepared.

 

"I gave it some thought and I decided that you should take me back.

 

A wave of something passed through Brian's body at those words. He feigned slight interest.

 

"Oh?"

 

"Even though I've made a few mistakes, you'd be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance," Justin's professionally stated.

 

Brian nodded with practiced emotional distance, "I see."

 

He didn't. 

 

Arousal and hope was shooting through him so fast, he felt floored. 

 

It was like the moments when Justin had returned his bracelet to him, when the silence was so deafening, and the emotions were so tight, and Justin's fingertips were brushing against his pulse-point in such an erotic way. Brian had figeted at the time and said that Justin should get back to his boyfriend.

 

This time, the "piece of blond boy ass" was here, ready to go. Wanting it all back. No boyfriend to get back to. 

 

Brian could act on this arousal.

 

Which was a strange feeling. He always ALWAYS acted on his arousal. It was his way. 

 

But over the last couple of months, this particular lust was supressed. Hidden. Just shadows in the night with tricks who had long blond hair, and his overactive imagination. Cold mornings wishing the bouncy teenager with the intelligence level of a grad student was there, in his life. In his loft. In his bed.

 

"'Cause now I understand what it is you want of me," Justin leaned back. Brian looked up at him with serious hazel eyes, unable to hide the emotions that Justin's words were stirring in that moment, "And I know what to expect from you."

 

He took a deep breath. Returned to the professional business charade that his intern/ex-lover was pulling him into.

 

"You also understand that you'll be required to work long...hard hours..." his voice hitched with a breath that revealed his arousal, "sometimes deep into the night?"

 

Justin's eyes seemed glazed with as much desire, "It'd be a pleasure to work under you...sir."

 

Their dance of witty words was back. The flirtation. 

 

"And you're _never_ to play violin music in my presence again."

 

Brian didn't care that he had sacrificed his selfish pride in that second. He was willing to admit that he never, EVER wanted to hear the sound of the man who had stolen HIS Justin from him. Justin could mock this new weakness. Hell, if the situation was reversed, he would have.

 

But instead the younger man blinked slowly, his posture relaxed and humble, and his voice a sincere, understanding whisper, "I promise."

 

They stared at each other for a moment.

 

"Good. Well then," he said, standing and walking around to the front of his desk, "You can start," moved aside a desklamp, sat on the edge. Crossed his arms over his chest, "immediately."

 

Looked intently and expectantly at Justin. A moment. A beat. A decision.

 

Watched Justin get up and close the door before Brian's gaze dropped to the floor. One spot, his mind zeroed in on every little sensation of this moment. 

 

The relief that was inside of him. Gratefulness. 

 

The quiet humming of love. He wasn't about to turn into a pathetic and sappy queen, for fucksake, but still...he couldn't help but feel that familiar chord resounding inside of him that brought back memories he wouldn't trade for all the money and hottest fucks in the world. 

 

When Justin crept into his bed, trying to be quiet, and all Brian could do was slowly pull up the covers, silently inviting him to stay.  
When he pulled a crying Justin into his arms to comfort him as he packed to live in New York City.   
When he sacrificed his pride and danced, laughed, and kissed the graduating senior at his prom in front of the whole school.  
When they made love in the slowest, most gentle way possible, teaching each other how to worship each other's bodies.  
When Brian rolled to his chest and allowed the younger man to slide his dick into the tight hole of his ass for the first time.  
When instead of spending a weekend together, he exclaimed and insisted that he wanted to spend an entire week together.  
When he paid for his education because it was something Justin was meant to do, despite the fact that they weren't together anymore.

 

Brian raised his chin and looked up at Justin just as he approached. Both of their lips turned into a smile before they met.

 

He was happy.

 

All the interior emotional drama faded away as their mouths opened to each other, and Justin's hand came up to grasp his neck. The wet wholesome taste of his mouth, filling and overcoming his senses.

 

He had missed the way Justin tasted. The way his breathy moans would feel against his neck. The weight of the blonde head on his shoulder, or how he would lean against Brian's hard and willing body.

 

Brian had missed fucking everything about Justin.

 

They kissed endlessly in the cool golden light of his office, savoring the feelings, and when they pulled apart to breathe or undress each other, they would keep their foreheads together. Didn't want to lose contact. 

 

Justin leaned over to unbuckle Brian's Gucci belt, and even the seconds apart was too much. With a teasing grin and a rippling laugh from Justin's lips, Brian dragged him back up to his mouth and kissed the chuckle right out of the blonde. 

 

Kissing around a smile was almost as good as kissing around ice cream or a joint. Especiallly Sunshine's smile.

 

What the fuck was he thinking? Waxing poetic when he was about to fuck the same kid he'd been wishing he could fuck for the last couple of months? His dick was at full attention, the office building deserted, and a hot ass ready to be plowed...

 

...and he was thinking about how great it was to kiss Sunshine's smile. It was almost enough to make him heave and-

 

Justin buried his face in Brian's neck, sniffed. Then let out a sweet little sigh that one only gives when they come home after a very long trip....

 

And all Brian could do is pull him impossibly closer, and carefully push Justin's pants off his narrow hips and rounded ass. His hands ran over the curve of it, gentle. 

 

Justin sighed again, running kisses up along his ear, his fingers petting the hair behind it.

 

"I need you inside of me," he whispered, pleaded, "Brian..."

 

Brian smoothed his hands up Justin's soft back, feeling the ripple of it as Justin moved. He took it as a sign to turn around and lean over the desk, until Brian stopped him.

 

"No."

 

It was all he said, but Justin looked up at him with lust-clouded blue eyes, prepared to do whatever Brian told him to do.

 

"Lay on the floor."

 

Well, maybe not everything.

 

"The floor?" Justin asked, tilting his head, "Why not the desk?"

 

"Just lay on the floor, okay?" Brian's voice crackled with its usual attitude, and Justin couldn't help but roll his eyes at the command.

 

But he obeyed anyway. 

 

Brian leaned over the desk to grab a condom out of a drawer before he sunk to his knees next to the blonde. On the floor because he couldn't bear to fuck him in the same cold way he fucked that stupid up-and-comer. And on the floor for old time's sake.

 

On the floor.

 

Bending over the pale naked body, waiting for his attentions. Licking and sucking a silvery trail up the younger torso. Hooking Justin's legs around his own naked waist. Sliding the condom onto his erection.

 

Sinking into Justin's body for the first time in months.

 

And Brian could tell the exact moment when Justin realized why they were fucking the floor...

 

They were picking up where they left off, taking it slow this time around.

 

Justin let out a groan of pure ecstasy. Brian sealed his mouth over his.

 

It was a passing noise. A sound blur. A buzzing.

 

And it was the sweetest fucking sound in the world.


End file.
